The Grind

6:30am wake up and hopefully manage to dress in something relatively decent that hasn’t been put on backwards or inside out. 7:17am pull into the the drive thru to get my extra large dark roast with one milk. 7:24am spend 30 seconds in the silence of my car getting my mind ready for the day. 7:25am unlock the gates and hope to god I don’t slip on ice and lose my coffee. 7:30am take the first sip of my coffee, relish in the tiny caffeine rush, and start the day. The extra large coffee, if I haven’t lost it somewhere along the way, is usually gone by 8am and some kind, beautiful soul has put a replacement on my desk. I cry a small tear for tiny mercies and continue the day. At some point food molecules are consumed, and a peaceful toilet break has been had. By 5:30pm I am in my car on the way home wondering what exactly was accomplished in the day. My evenings were usually a blur and almost always ended up with me asleep on either a couch or my bed with my reading glasses still on my face, and me losing my bloody spot all over again.. what was I even reading?

In and amongst the grind I would spend time wondering what it would be like to take a chance on the thing that fills my soul and so often lights me up. Creativity has always been an escape, a place where there is no need to apologize, or be perfect. A place where I haven’t had to explain the crazy thought that is coming out on paper , and a place I can learn how to burn on wood, because why not! That being said, my creativity has always been put aside because, you know, we all have bills to pay and life is tough!

I’ve often wondered at the courage it would take to give up the safety of a salaried job and to build something that fulfills you in a way the grind never could. It is courage I have never been able to muster, but my wake up call came in the guise of a health concern that was becoming to hard to ignore. At this point I had to ask myself was the grind really worth what was happening to me, and whether or not I could sustain it for much longer.

My break away from the grind was facilitated by someone I could not have done this without. My spouse has provided a safe haven and the ability for me to step away from a world that was not helping me, into a world where anything is possible. And while I still experience panic attacks about losing my salary, and I worry and waffle on about how to pay my next bill, he has stood beside me steadfast in the knowledge that I can do this. That together we can build something that will allow me to accomplish something every day.

To those who have had the courage to step away from their safety and into the unknown by themselves, I salute you. This road is tough in ways I haven’t discovered yet. But it has been done, and I read about your successes every day.

So welcome to NineTales Studio, my creative world that will hopefully make you smile.